Monday is back..shuhh!!shuhhhh!!!!!

I'm listening to 'A year without rain' by Selena Gomez. I'm not her fan but I have to admit that she is sooo cute (like me..muwahaha!) 

Monday is back. huh!! No mood to go to work at all. Friday, please come faster..pleaseeeee...
*dancing mode..just like Selena Gomez in A year without rain* (oh come on Selena..Bieber definitely is not my taste)

Yeaaa, before I lose my mind, I better go to bed..

 "It's like a year without rainnnnn..woooo woooooo woooooooo"

till nex time =)

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It would be really nice if I have someone beside me to talk to right now. But I always end up talking with my laptop, pretend like it is listening and responding to what I say. I dont know why I'm fooling myself like this. Few days ago, I had a conversation with a guy in my office. He asked me if I ever hurt any guy before. yeaa, I did. So, he said..that's why I cant be happy. I agreed. But should they put all the blame on me alone? They think that I am happy everytime I break someone's feeling. They dont know, how bad I feel about it. Sometimes, they make me hate myself.

How I wish, when I open my eyes the next day, I will lose my mind..that I cant remember anything..forget everything...

When u fall in love...

You fall in love with someone,

As a result, you come to hate yourself,

If this the case,  this someone is not meant for you,

This someone is not your destiny....

The ending of Tasik Titiwangsa story.....

Today, I went to Aida's wedding with Tina and hubby, Faiz at Pekan Pahang. It took about 3 hours to reach there..soooo tired...but I'm sure, Faiz was more tired since he drove the car..hehe

I don't know how to describe my feeling...I live in this house since Nov 2008...and I have a few homies that I really close like Mira, Tina, Raihan,Yana, Ruhi and Aida..

When Mira left this house, I'm not really sad because I still have Yana and Tina around..same goes when Yana and Tina left, I still have Aida...but when Aida left, I am a bit sad and empty because I have nobody to talk anymore in this house..Well, I have another 2 new homies, but I'm not close to them and 1 one them is a new tension..haha..ok2, forget bout the new tension...leave her...

Aida is one of my best homies...and today when I see her smiling in her beautiful wedding dress, I am so happy...finally, after faced a lot of pressures and arguments, plus the tasik titiwangsa drama, now she's officially married to Mr Policeman, Fakur..hehehehe..Congratulation dear..May Allah bless your marriage till the end...be a good wife ok!!! =)

 

Makan makan makan....

 

Garangnya Mr.Polis a.k.a Gemuk

Beautiful newlywed

If I could turn back time....

Things that I really miss...

1. Flashman, Sailormoon, Mearo attack...

2. Snoring in Arabic class with my desk partner, Ruhma...=p

3. Pacifier..

4. Naik beca ke tadika...nostalgia betul..

5. Ketiow sup depan rumah Walong Fiah kat Ulu Tiram....T_T

6. to be continued....

The big IF....

I have many questions on my mind, yet I still can't find the answer and sometimes I'm not sure if I've made a right decision...peoples who love shopping sure know how to decide because shopping is about making decision...I don't like shopping, that's why I can't be a good decider..

Most of the time, I feel regret after I decide. The past keep bothering me...I always have the big "IF.." on my mind...it reminds me on a Gwyneth Paltrow old movie "Sliding Door". It wasn't a good movie but I still like the storyline. It's about a woman who missed a train and the big "if" start from the train station. What "if" she doesn't miss the train? So, the movie got two storyline and two ending..and it happens differently.The ending would end up like this "if" she doesn't miss the train but it might turn to the other ending "if" she miss the train...hmmm....complicated right?? So, u won't be able to understand the whole movie if u don't watch it from the beginning.. (I'm not promoting the movie ok!) =p

I think, the script writer and me can be a good friend. We share the same idea of the "if" matter..haha

Well, maybe I'm still not matured enough... I want to talk to somebody but I always think that I don't deserve their attention or concern. Why?? Because I always hurt people who love me...

Champa oh Champa...

Champa?? Apa tu? Orang apa? Tak pernah dengar pun...

Yep, yep...peoples always question that...most people don't know us..sedangkan orang champa dah lama wujud kat dunia ni..lebih lama dari orang melayu...orang tidak kenal kami kerana negara Champa sudah hilang dari peta dunia.....

Aku bukan nak bercerita siapa yang lebih lama wujud, cuma aku nak bercakap siapa kami yang mana orang memang selalu salah faham menganggap kami sebagai orang Kemboja...

Kemboja itu nama sebuah negara, bukannya nama bangsa. Sama la seperti orang Cina, India yang duduk Malaysia, kalau pergi ke oversea, they will say "I'm Malaysian"....so, orang2 Champa yang berhijrah sebelum ni, like my parents...they also say "Saya orang kemboja" because they were born there.....Orang Kemboja pure adalah bangsa Khmer...same case with Cham people who lived at Vietnam, they will say "I am Vietnamese"...

Actually, we don't have our own country...satu2 nya bangsa yang tak ada negara, yang terpaksa duduk menumpang di negara lain...well, we used to have our own land..tapi atas sebab2 politik dulu2, we lost our motherland..too sad kan...sampai sekarang, anak cucu cicit bangsa Champa menumpang dan menjadi bangsa minoriti di negara2 lain seluruh dunia..sebab itu la aku ada saudara mara yang duduk US, Canada,Thailand, Vietnam, Kemboja...merata-rata...

Tanah asal Champa sebenarnya ada kat Vietnam...kerajaan Vietnam dulu2 rampas tanah kami dan mengusir orang2 Champa keluar dari sana...sama seperti kes Palestin la...yang ada di Vietnam sekarang cuma lah Museum Champa yang di bina untuk memelihara sejarah dan budaya Champa oleh kerajaan Vietnam...maybe diorang rasa bersalah sebab dah rampas tanah kami kan...huhuhu...

Orang salah anggap orang Champa ni adalah orang Kemboja kerana salah orang orang Champa itu sendiri...salah aku jugak...masa kecil2 bila orang tanya , "awak orang apa?" dengan konfiden aku cakap "saya orang Kemboja"...sebabnya makayah aku cakap macam tu...lagipun, kalau aku cakap aku orang Champa, semua orang tak tahu...itu yang aku malas nak explain, so senang cerita...cakap je la orang Kemboja...

Tapi bila aku dah besar2 ni, baru aku sedar..kerana kesilapan orang Champa yang tidak cuba mempertahankan bangsa kami sendiri lah, bangsa Champa semakin hari semakin dilupakan dan tak mustahil suatu hari nanti, pupus.....

Aku sayangkan bangsaku...aku tak nak Champa pupus, cukup la negara kami hilang dari peta dunia, jangan orang champa pun hilang sekali..... 

kat bawah ni entry lama aku kat blog lama..hehehe..aku copy paste masuk sini je la..

Someone has asked me to talk about Champa. I'm sure, the majority of u wouldn't know what Champa is. Champa is an ethnic group originally from the Southern Vietnam . Actually, I don't know much bout Champa history..

Previously, there was a kingdom called the Kingdom of Champa, but due to some conflicts with Vietnam, Cham people lost the land.  I'm not sure which century this happenned. So, if u look at a world map nowadays, there is no longer a Kingdom of Champa shown. That's why the new generation doesnt know about it unless they have studied austronesian history. 

My parents used to live in Cambodia but they migrated to Malaysia in the early 80's. I was born in Malaysia. So, when people ask me, where are u from? (my look makes people get confused lol) , I dont know how to describe myself. If I say, I'm Cambodian, it's not true, becoz, I never lived there and I also dont know the cambodian language and I'm also not Khmer. But on my birth certificate, it is written 'khmer' which is totally wrong. My father went to the registration office to correct it, but they said, there is no Champa in the system.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kingdom_of_Champa